I started and stopped my portfolio collection too many times to count. I felt as if I had nothing to say or share with the world. The reason why I felt this way was from a trip I took to Cape Town where I attended art galleries and discovered my love of art which had something to say.
If you’re someone like me, you like to create opportunities for you to be inspired not just wait for inspiration to strike. Therefore, wherever I go, I attend an art gallery or two. Taking my time, to truly observe what the local artists are trying to convey in their work.
Because art, is a means of expression for me. A way to communicate the hardships, the social injustice in the world and the beauty of life.
I’ve known this for quite awhile however putting this into action was difficult. What did I have to say? What made me feel qualified to say something with my art? Why would people listen? These are all the thoughts that bounce around my mind when I stare at a blank canvas, or piece of paper surrounded by supplies but not inspired to say something.
Little did I know that I would find inspiration from a visit to an art gallery in Cape Town where hundreds of artists had a voice and a message to share. Visiting Zeitz Mocaa, the Museum of Contemporary Art Africa is life altering. It is healing in its architecture, transformative in its artists displayed and truly inspirational. The museum is located in the V&A Waterfront, on the banks of Table Bay overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.
The award winning building, a historic grain silo which was transformed into a beautiful museum, is a site to see - with its sweeping lines of the center structure of the silo, to the glass elevators and swirling staircases to the incredible views from the roof. Zeitz Mocaa is a must stop on any creative’s list.
What makes this art museum even more special is the incredible art displayed. This is an art museum dedicated to artists in Africa, all with a remarkable message and insight into humankind and social commentary. Everywhere you look, some artist is pouring out their soul and sharing their stories and experiences in life. And boy, the life experiences in this place is truly humbling.
One of my favourite pieces when I attended the museum that profoundly made me stop and think is by an artist by the name of Anthony Bumhira from Zimbabwe, his piece had a powerful message. This hit home for me, as part of my family is from Zimbabwe (and some of them are still there - trying to survive) and they had witnessed some of the atrocities that President Mugabe had inflicted on his nation. Anthony (who is in his early 30s) said so much with so little. Houses for all is the title of the piece - three words and one piece of artwork (which is a mixed medium tapestry of way too many people for a few homes available). Mind blowing!
As I walked around, everywhere I looked, there were similar art pieces. Profound messages being conveyed through different forms of art.
I felt like I was being brought to my knees surrounded by a sea of whispering voices and cries of agony in the night.
To say that it changed me would be an understatement. It made me realize that we should honour that, and create art not just to be surrounded by pretty things but to profoundly change the world in some way. We need to find our voice and style and use this gift we have been given to stand up for injustice or for people who have no voice. I know that’s a tall order, but if we don’t who will?
So my portfolio collection was born from this desire to speak my truth through my art. But what could I share with the world?
Grief was once described to me in this way which seems entirely appropriate. Grief is illustrated like a box with a pain button located on the inside and a large ball bouncing around inside of the box. When you first lose someone, the ball is large and almost always hits the pain button. As you continue on the grief journey the ball gets smaller and smaller and seems to not always hit the pain button. Although it stills hits it, it is less frequent and sometimes without warning.
Grief has a funny way of coming out of nowhere sometimes, hitting you upside the head, paralyzing you with heavy emotions which have no apparent trigger. It can be something as small as how the light is hitting the hoar frost one winter morning or hearing your loved ones favourite song. These seemingly almost unnoticed triggers can stop you in your tracks in a moment’s notice. It’s okay, all of us who have lost loved ones experience this, you are not alone. Drawing from this experience, I decided to paint my grief journey after losing my mother. I wanted to gain a deeper understanding of my grief and those who have been through similar situations.
I interviewed several women who lost their mothers due to some type of illness. They lost their mothers in various ways and at different stages of their lives. We discussed what the experience felt like, what they learned throughout their journey of loss and what they wish they knew looking back.
The themes of this collection were taken from these discussions and woven into the sides of grief and the grieving process.
I painted emotions, experiences and hope for healing using a variety of mixed media techniques. Some of the themes resonated with my own experiences of losing a mother to a fatal illness while some themes surprised me and provided a deeper understanding of human emotions and the sides of grief.
Little did I know that I would restart the grieving process again while painting this collection. I had moments of anger, depression, sadness, relief, acceptance and finally hope of moving forward. May this collection of work invite you to connect with your feelings of grief and loss but also provide deeper understanding of the courage it takes to heal and move forward from losing a loved one.
